We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage.” what does it mean

Albert Camus' quote "We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage" suggests a profound insight into human nature and our relationships with others.12345678910

The first deception mentioned in the quote refers to the tendency to idealize the people we love, often overlooking their flaws and focusing on their positive attributes. This can lead to a skewed perception of reality, where we see the person through a lens of admiration and affection, which may not always align with their true character or actions.16

The second deception occurs when the reality of the person's actions or character becomes too apparent to ignore, leading to a shift in perception. We may then begin to see only the negative aspects of the person, exaggerating their flaws and failing to recognize any redeeming qualities. This can result in a harsh judgment that may not be entirely fair or accurate.16

In essence, the quote highlights the "cruel paradox" that Camus discovered, where our emotions can cloud our judgment, causing us to oscillate between two extremes in our perception of loved ones.69 It serves as a reminder of the importance of maintaining a balanced and objective view of the people we care about, acknowledging both their strengths and weaknesses without falling into the traps of idealization or devaluation.1